Anger is a natural feeling that can help protect you in potentially threatening situations.  It is a signal that either something is wrong with the situation, or the way you perceive it.  Anger only becomes negative when you do things that are harmful to yourself or others. Anger can then become a caustic acid that destroys relationships and diminishes the quality of your life.

Often individuals feel hostility and anger, and just cannot seem to figure out why they are angry or how to stop being angry.  It is not uncommon to think that other people are the cause of our anger and rarely look to ourselves for a solution.  Though it may be true that others can behave in ways that we think are annoying or downright rude, we do not have to react in an aggressive way or become hostile.

We are not victims of circumstance and we can take control of our anger by examining our thought patterns that are creating anger.  How we choose to perceive a situation plays a major role in how we will react.  Our perceptions are based on our past and current life situations.  What choices have you made when faced with adversity?  Think about how anger is affecting your life.

Below is a brief anger inventory, designed to help you identify areas where your anger has negatively affected your life. Read the following and think about the effects your anger has had on your life and relationships.

•    People tell me I am quick tempered and easily angered.
•    I often feel irritable and easily annoyed by other people.
•    When I am angry I have taken out my anger on an innocent bystander or pet.
•    When I am angry I have thrown or broken things.
•    When I am angry, I have threatened, shoved or hit others.
•    When I am angry I have verbally attacked others, and feel as if I am unable to control what I am saying.
•    More than three people have told me I have problems with my anger.
•    I have lost intimate relationships and friendships due to the way I express anger.
•    I do not assert myself when others treat me disrespectfully, and let my feelings of anger build until I feel like I just explode.
•    When I have been angry, I have hurt myself or placed myself in danger (i.e.: cutting, punching, excessive drinking, jumping out of moving cars)
•    When I get angry people tend to want to get away from me or avoid me, and I tend to follow them or try to force them to argue with me.

Look at your answers and notice any patterns you may have when it comes to your expression of anger.  Is your anger directed toward a particular person or situation in your life, or is it generalized anger?  Identifying people or situations that trigger your angry thoughts can better help you to pinpoint areas to work on within yourself, or relationships that are unhealthy.

Recognizing that there is a problem is the first step toward changing it.  Do not let your anger take control of your life, there is hope for change.